


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 31: Megatron's Master Plan, Part 1

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [32]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24420919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: Megatron begins a dastardly plot to frame the Autobots for wrongdoings they did not commit- by using the powers of... costumes?  (Just how many different Optimi does he have stashed around the Decepticon base anyway!?!)
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220114
Kudos: 3





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 31: Megatron's Master Plan, Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript.

[Stinger]

S: Well, I mean, apparently you can have celebrities as your Patronus.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast. An episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I’m Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: Today we're going to be talking about episode number 30 [Correction, episode 31]: Megatron's Master Plan, Part One. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we? 

S: Sure.

O: Today, we open in Central City, where the mayor is opening a solar energy facility.

S: They really didn't get up enough hype for this thing, cuz like, the building is huge and there's only, you know, maybe 30 people at the grand opening.

O: You know, this was before the days of social media. How do you get people to go to something like that? [laughs]

S: Flyers?

O: Newspaper ads?

S: Yeah… I don't know, maybe this was just an internal thing. [Whispering] Giving a speech.

O: Yeah, I mean, like, they did normally do that but still it's really funny- it's just, like, so few people in, like, this giant area.

S: Mm-hmm but the Seekers decide to disrupt this little event. And then, elsewhere, we see an obviously evil businessman happy that the Seekers have taken the bait.

O: Oh god! He literally is committing freakin’ insurance fraud. 

S: He's also participating in some good old-fashioned political sabotage against the mayor, just like grandpappy used to do. Oh hi~ Thrust, Ramjet, Dirge and Starscream- three of whom I don't think have ever actually been named before- or, no, they have-

O: I think- they’ve shown u,p because we made numerous jokes about the Thrust’s  _ inappropriate  _ placements in a few episodes.

S: That’s true. 

O: So, I know they popped up, like how many times if their names been said? I don't really know. I- they also can apparently summon Energon cubes, like, empty ones from out of thin air during this, too.

S: This is a revelation.

O: [Laughter]

S: They land and try to steal energy from the facility but they are attacked by hidden tanks instead.

O: The mayor intuits that this is Mr. Evil Business Man's plan all along and grabs a microphone from a random reporter and yells, “Get me the Autobots!” into it.

S: Ah, so this is a honey pot for Decepticons, then? 

O: I mean, that’s kind of what it looks like.

S: Starscream shoots one of the tanks but his Null Ray and after, you know, like a five-second delay- all three of the line of tanks that it's a part of blows-up.

O: We see the humans hiding behind several vehicles, except for a lone cameraman who's taping everything. 

S: That man is braver than any US Marine. 

O: [Laughter] 

S: The Autobots show up extremely quickly. 

O: We had thought they were, perhaps, in the Midwest or something here but how quickly they arrived, is this facility actually in Oregon? 

S: No, no they’re always road-tripping. They're always nearby should Decepticon[s] strike. You know, except for that one time they had to drive across the country to DC when they drove like 200 miles per hour with Prowl in the lead.

O: So who all have we got today?

S: Uh, Optimus, Smokescreen, Ironhide, Tracks, Bumblebee, and Warpath. Oh, and Spike, you know. He's tagging along, too.

O: Of course, the Seekers go to escape but Tracks pursues.

S: Because, guess what, kids? Tracks is a flying Corvette Stingray! He is somehow not aerodynamic in the slightest but he is still doing that thing.

O: Tracks can also, apparently, shoot a blinding beam.

S: Or a localized ray of darkness around someone? I don’t know the hell- I don't know how the hell it's supposed to work.

O: And then Ramjet rams Tracks out of the air.

S: Oh and Tracks does a nifty little somersault as he lands so he ends up stylishly on his butt.

O: [Laughter] As you do. The rest of the Autobots all start shooting at Starscream, who's still on the ground for some reason.

S: Starscream rather piteously whines for help from Thrust as he collapses to the ground. I mean, none of this makes any sense. 

O: Not really. Thrust then knocks down most of the Autobots with missiles, except Smokescreen, who shoots him with his shoulder laser.

S: Starscream orders a retreat and Optimus continues to shoot them as they fly off.

O: Well, that seems morally questionable.

S: The Autobots can have a moral ambiguity. You know, as a treat.

O: A little?

B: [Laughter]

S: Bumblebee says, “We sure showed them, Spike!”

O: Bee, did you- did you even do anything during that entire fight?

S: Well, he certainly didn't show up but maybe they were on crowd control? Bee is a very good public relations guy for the Autobots. 

O: [Sighs] I suppose somebody has to be. The mayor thanks them and says he wants to honor all of them at City Hall.

S: Businessman McEvil is quite angry because he wanted to be the hero and chase off the Decepticons with the tanks.

O: He orders his bodyguards out of his office so he can think! Then he picks up an  _ oddly _ familiar tape.

S: Which wasn't there in earlier scenes.

O: Oh, hi, Laserbeak. He cowers and then calls for his guards but Laserbeak picks him up, shoots the window, and flies off carrying him. 

S: One of Laserbeak chores for today was some light kidnapping.

O: Yep! So he flies the businessman to a cliff overlooking the city and then he drops him on his ass, extremely unceremoniously, where Megatron was apparently waiting this entire time and says, “Greetings, Mr. Berger.”

S: Because that is- that's this dude’s name, guys, so-

O: Yep, prepare yourself!

S: Yep. Megatron and Soundwave definitely knew this guy had set up a trap before they sent the Seekers out to the solar facility.

O: This just in: A tiny human man threatens a forty feet [foot] megalomaniac by saying, “I'm a big man in these parts.”

S: While scooting away on his butt. 

O: Why are there so many butts? Did Tina write this episode? [Laughter] Megatron decides to take the gas-lighting route, insinuating the Autobots are evil ones, “Ah! The power of public relations!”

S: And Megatron’s just like, “Oh, yeah, we got to get us some of that,” and then he proceeds to pick the most sleazy human available because-

O: [Laughter]

S: Great for manipulation.

O: Yes, but, um, doesn’t really do much for their public image to other people, I suppose.

S: Oh, it doesn't, but the guy's got the money.

O: True, and then, uh, the Hamburglar asks- [Laughter]

S: [Laughter] 

O: The Hamburglar asks, “What's in it for him if he helps prove that the Autobots are evil,” and Megatron says, “All that you survey!”

S: You can have everything that the light touches.

O: Burgerman says that Megatron has to  _ prove _ the Autobots are evil and then he'll help.

S: Megatron order Dirge to, “Return their ‘friend’ home.”

O: Megs even bends down and cups his hands to pick Berger up. 

S: Megatron is using all of the charisma for this right now and he rolled real good. Either that, or Berger’s perception is complete shit. 

O: Oh, but the most questionably hilarious thing about all of this is that Berger just sort of lays back and brings his leg up- legs up in Megatron's hands.

S: Like, he greatly resembles a hamster during this. He's just like, uh-huh, perfect place to relax is in a giant Warlord's hands.

O: That sounds like a very  _ specific _ kink!

S: Uh-huh.

O: [Laughter] And then after Dirge and McBurger leave, Megatron starts laughing at how gullible this dude was, because he ain't getting diddly. 

S: Megatron's just like, “Oh yeah, I'm the best liar.” 

O: Yeah, that sounds about right. [Laughter] 

S: And sometime later, Berger is in a helicopter over an oil field when Optimus, Sunstreaker, Ironhide, and Wheeljack show up and uh, start stealing energy. Berger records this.

O: For real though, Peter Cullen doing an evil laugh gives me life and it’s great, but they start doing this with Energon cubes, which is something we never ever, ever, ever see the Autobots use. They're always used by the Cons. 

S: I think the only energy source that we see the uh, Autobots using are, like, Energon conduits- like they're these things that Bee and Wheeljack are collecting in the first episodes and then those silly beds from a few episodes back.

O: The only two beds inside the entire Ark.

S: All got to squeeze in, got to take turns-

O: Mm-hm!

S: -in full view of literally everyone else.

O: Gotta buddy up!

S: So many questions. Optimus shoots at the helicopter before Megatron and some of the Seekers show up to save the humans.

O: That's one line that should never come out of Megatron's mouth, ever. 

S: Things go pew pew and the Decepticons, ultimately, win and then Megatron contacts Berger and asks if he believes him now. 

O: Which, you know, wanting what Megatron is selling, he totally does.

S: [Sighs] Things are going so fast.

O: [Laughter] A lot happens in this episode to be honest.

S: Yup, back in Central City, we cut to a banner that reads: Autobot Day! 

O: It's a parade! A parade of Autobots! All in car mode. That seems a lot less interesting than if they were in robot mode.

S: Yeah. 

O: Then they all enter Ci- City Hall with no apparent problems. 

S: Somehow. I mean, I- clearly they removed some walls but god- the structural- structural integrity of that building.

O: [Laughter] The mayor is in the middle of giving a speech when Mr. Burgermeister-Meisterburger threatens a tech to play the evil autobot footage he recorded or else lose his job. 

S: And instead of playing footage from the solar plant where the Autobots save the humans, we get some Megatron propaganda, instead. 

O: Did Soundwave edit this?

S: That, or Megatron took the editing into his own hands. 

O: I would believe that, or he was looking over poor Soundwave shoulder, like, the entire time, being a backseat driver- or editor.

S: I just imagined Megatron being, like, video editing is my passion.

O: [Laughter] 

S: Optimus says, “It's an obvious fake, they'll never believe it!”

O: Oh, Optimus, I think you forget how stupid humans are.

S: Ah, we then get some footage of evil Wheeljack blasting the Coneheads with a ray that makes them say, “We want to steal energy and destroy,” or something like that.

O: Yeah and, in the crowd, Spike’s just like, “This is bullshit!”

S: Yep, and the last clip shows the Autobots in the Ark scheming to take over the Earth.

O: I mean, props to the Decepticons for having built a believable copy of the Teletraan I room.

S: Possibly even a green screen. Uh, between Soundwave and the Cassettes, they could probably edit whatever they wanted- I mean, honestly, all they’d really need to do is get a recording of the Autobots talking in the Ark and then-

O: Dub over it?

S: Edit it.

O: [Laughter] Yeah, yeah, that is a really funny image. 

S: I mean, they had that voice thing-

O: They do! They have many things to impersonate all like- at least Optimus, not to mention they probably do it for all the Autobots, oh yeah.

S: Yeah.

O: And Bee being our public relations manager is like, “Mayor! You can't actually believe this?”

S: The mayor is trying to be, you know, diplomatic in his verbal response while not so subtly waving over security like that's gonna do a fat lot of good with giant robots unless they feel like being, you know, agreeable.

O: [Laughter] Right?!

S: The Autobots go to return to the Ark as humans chuck fruits and vegetables at them and tell them to: “Go home!”

O: Well, it was quick! You guys were just having a parade.

S: I mean, yeah, and that seems like a waste of perfectly good produce and why do they even have it? Were they looking forward to throwing things? Were people on their way home from grocery shopping?

O: All of the people were on their way home from grocery shopping, and the mob begins calling Spike, Sparkplug, and Chip, Autobot lovers and it almost looks like they're gonna assault them before they get into Bumblebee and leave.

S: It's kind of horrifying, honestly and back at the Ark, uh, Sunstreaker rats- rants about humans being unreliable.

O: Spike is literally right there, man. [Laughter]

S: Yup.

O: And then, Mr. Hamba-guesa-con- oh, yeah, I can't say that, you're gonna have to say that part.

S: Mr. Hamburguesa Con Queso arrives and orders the Autobots to surrender. Um, this is a private citizen- this private citizen is just sending his army of tanks to threaten the aliens. Is that even legal? I have many questions. And when I say army, I mean this is, apparently, a literal personal army.

O: That's a lot of tanks.

S: It is, it is!

O: It’s a lot of tanks! 

S: Optimus says they'll only surrender to a legitimate law enforcement officer. 

O: Which makes total sense, but then the mayor is *also* in the helicopter and says that the Autobots are under arrest. 

S: This is probably not legal because he’s- the mayor’s not a law enforcement officer.

O: He really shouldn’t have the jurisdiction to do this. 

S: Optimus orders the Autobots to surrender without resistance.

O: And Berger tells them to follow his ”army.”

S: Yeah, he even calls it an army. Private militias don't appear to be legal in Oregon.

O: Millionaires don’t care about felonies, Specs. 

S: We looked this up.

O: We did. You spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure out if private militias were legal in Oregon.

S: Maybe 15 minutes, it was-

O: Something like that. We say- we took the time to check if private militias were legal in Oregon.

S: God, we checked so many things.

O: We did! [Laughter]

S: We cut to a reporter interviewing different people about whether they think the Autobots are guilty or not.

O: Then, suddenly, we're in a random football field where the mayor, Burger-man and the Autobots are, before being joined by the Decepticons. There's also a zillion people in the arena seats. 

S: I would also want to mention that this football stadium is like in the middle of a city-

O: Yes.

S: Too, it's so weird and why would you gather this many people to spectate on this trial of these allegedly dangerous robots? It seems like a bad plan. There are lots of potential hostages there, not to mention the rest of the goddamn city.

O: Right. But this is apparently a trial for the Autobots.

S: After what investigation? God, they haven't even been properly charged.

O: Oh, I know! I know.

S: Spike is, like, something seems fishy and just jumps down onto the turf from pretty high up. Um, Spike-

O: His legs are fine. 

S: I have many questions. Like, why didn't you just go around? Why didn't you just go into the other- through the regular-

O: Cause then he goes into the arena after to, like, from the field.

S: Yes! And Soundwave, you know, to deal with uh, the sudden invasion of Spike sends out Ravage.

O: All while leaning up against this wall, super casually, and then Spike goes to what he- what is, presumably, the stadium's A/V room and watches Berger’s tapes again. 

S: How did he get access to these? Why were they in there to begin with? 

O: Magical bullshit of cartoons?

S: I have so many questions. Spike realizes that the Autobots in the video never transformed and then Optimus Prime takes his head off, revealing that it’s Starscream underneath.

O: Which doesn't even make sense because Starscream was one of the cons who showed up to fight the fake Autobots earlier in the video.

S: They're making use of, you know, animation errors. I don't know or maybe it was Thundercracker or Skywarp playing him again? Better question is how the shoulder bits fit in the Optimus Prime costume because those like scroll up after the head comes off?

O: Yeah, it’s very strange. But can we also talk about Starscream's uncannily perfect acting as Optimus here, because he has clearly had  _ a lot _ of practice. Alone. Probably with Megatron. [Laughter]

S: Well, maybe the, uh, maybe the helmet has, uh, voice changing stuff in it because how do any of them so perfectly mimic-

O: I would still argue that they would like- their inflections and stuff wouldn't necessarily be changed but… yeah.

S: Ah, some role-playing experience, I guess. So Megatron's gotta perfect his lines for when he finally takes down Optimus Prime.

O: Uh-huh, sure. That's gotta be why Starscream’s got an Optimus Prime costume. Yeah. Definitely- definitely that.

S: I was gonna say: Sounds kinky.

O: [Laughter] We are hearing some very strange kinks in this episode, got it! 

S: The Optimus Prime costume, the what? Two Optimus Prime replicas? There's so many.

O: There are so many. 

S: Megatron has a problem. 

O: [Laughter] Is that how we’re going to summarize it? I feel like, alternatively, I would like to present to you the argument: Megatron knows what he wants and is too much of an idiot to actually do it.

S: Yes, but that also qualifies as a problem.

O: [Laughter] I suppose that’s true. 

S: Um, Wheeljack and Ratchet are apparently being played by the other two Seekers, so I guess that takes uh, them out of the running for playing Starscream. 

O: Yeah, cause seriously? Then who the heck was Starscream? 

S: I gonna just- yeah, maybe one of the other random Seekers they sometimes have- random colored ones sometimes?

O: But they haven't done that very much since, like, that pilot, though. 

S: Well, not since they brought in, like, the other Coneheads and stuff.

O: Yeah, because they're usually the ones doing shit now when we need more birbs.

S: Maybe they just brought in someone from Cybertron because, presumably, they do have access to the Space Bridge still.

O: Yeah, we haven't seen that in a while, either! [Laughter] 

S: Yeah. I don't know! There's lots of- lots of possibilities. Does this mean the Decepticons ship Ratchet and Wheeljack, too?

O: Maybe-

S: The fact that they're there-

O: Yeah. Together? Yeah, they better.

S: As soon as Spike realizes all of this Ravage catches up with him.

O: Outside, they're ready to pass judgment!

S: It's been five minutes and the trial is over and, like, there has been zero research or arguing of cases? God.

O: To add to this, I uh, just had a co-worker who got called in for jury duty and that took two to three weeks. This is not a trial, this is a farce. 

S: It is. It is! 

O: [Laughter] 

S: Chip tries to stop the Judge by saying that Spike was coming back but- no, no, they don't want to wait for children.

O: Yeah, and it's sad that a fucking teenager’s better at research than these adult men!

S: [Sigh] 

O: The Autobots are then found guilty and banished from Earth.  _ Forever! _

S: This appears to be an entirely local operation, with a County Judge finding the Autobots guilty and then ejecting them from the planet. No one is called in on a national or, you know, even state level during these proceedings. Like, this would be a major political event and they do not appear to consider any of this. We establish early on that the Autobots have relationships with other countries.

O: That's not even getting into if the Ark and surrounding land are effectively Cybertronian land or like, what constitutes the Cybertronian Embassy, for lack of a better comparison. Berger’s tank incident could even, possibly, be considered an invasion or an act of aggression towards a foreign power but, yeah, I think it's safe to say a lot of people would be pissed about this.

S: Yeah, especially considering the Cold War was still going on and this might be considered, you know, alienating of your allies.

O: Or something.

S: Especially once it's revealed that, yeah, no, this was an-

O: [quietly] A county judge!

S: -entire December operation. I would, you know, love to see this rewritten in a way that actually takes the political implications of this into account and addresses these situations seriously and how it would, you know, actually be handled. That would be neat.

O: It would be. That being said this was still pretty damn funny.

S: Yeah.

O: And the Autobots, you know, being law-abiding robots- do comply, and get ready to leave.

S: And now we cut to this giant freaking ship, ready to take off. Which? Where did it- where did it come from? Where did this ship come from? Who built it? Who designed it? Did the taxpayers pay for this, or did the Decepticons pull it out of their collective asses, or is somehow Berger-man, the Burgermeister? It’s possible-

O: I mean, it says- it says it was supplied by Mr. Berger. 

S: I guess. God, how rich is this asshole?

O: [Laughter] 

S: My god, I mean, he's just Edison, apparently? Because he is an asshole and he would totally electrocute an elephant to get his way.

O: [Laughter] [Singing] Electric love~!

S: [Groans]

O: Sorry, it’s a Bob’s Burgers reference. Sparkplug asks if there's anything Optimus can do here, basically.

S: And then Optimus, you know, Optimus says no because any action they take would be an admission of their guilt. Oh god, Optimus, you're thinking the same way [Marvel] comic Optimus did involving that video game.

O: Yeah. He thanks Chip and Sparkplug for their friendship and all the Autobots board the spaceship. 

S: Chip and Sparkplug wonder where Spike is, as he's been missing for hours, apparently. 

O: And Berger insinuates that if they had an election today then he'd be Mayor.

S: Petty, small-town politics.

O: Well, probably medium to large town politics given the solar energy plant but yeah...

S: Yeah. The ship takes off and Chip cries a single manly tear. 

O: At the Ark, Berger and Megatron are now in the Teletraan I room and Berger wants his three cities now, dammit! 

S: He sold his city and, like, the Autobots out for three cities. 

O: He sold the planet out for cee- three cities, let's be honest here. 

S: That's accurate, yeah. Megatron, like, twists his Fusion Cannon like it's some sort of, um, telescope?

O: Yeah.

S: Or something? And then he shoots Teletraan I’s screen, which deletes text off the screen?

O: And then he hits one button and changes the Autobots’ flight path from Cybertron to the Sun.

S: Somehow the Autobot ship, despite being from the Burgermeister, was being controlled by the Ark’s computer. I don't understand this. At all.

O: And we see the Autobot ship heading towards the Sun.

S: Okay, their ship has to be a Decepticon ship. I mean everything is purple. We don't even see all the Autobots in there. Where is everyone else? Were they out of the country? Were they in the Bahamas?

O: Considering all this happened in, like, under 48 hours, I think it's very possible a bunch of Autobots were not at the base. And- and that's it! That's the end of the episode. Oh no, buy the toys, kids, because the Autobots are hurtling into the Sun! Join us next time for Megatron's Master Plan, Part Two. The Autobots take an unplanned scenic trip to the Sun, the Decepticons get their own parade, and Megatron holds a press conference. 

S: There may also be prom.

O: [Laughter] Or something a lot like it. And... we have some fanfics for today, one from me and one from Specs. 

S: Our first recommendation is  _ Our Darkest Hour _ by Taipan Kiryu. It's G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T, it's Gen. There aren't any pairings and characters are Megatron, Optimus, and the rest of the G1 cast and in summary: “When an unprecedented event causes a radical alteration in the programming of every Transformer, the Autobots turn against everything they held sacred whilst the Decepticons stand as the only hope left for Humanity.” And uh, our theme for that is it's a morality switcheroo. And uh, type, it's a multi chapter and it was incomplete and I think the last time it was updated was December 2013.

O: I really wannna to read this one, it sounds good. [Laughter] It's, like, right up my alley. 

S: Yeah.

O: Speaking of my alley, um, my recommendation is:  _ Little Dude Not Lost  _ by Merfilly. It is Shattered Glass, it is G1, it’s Gen. There are no pairings. Our characters are Shattered Glass Soundwave and Megatron, and in summary: “Megatron goes to check on Soundwave in the aftermath of a bad mission for Rumble.” It is a one-shot and the- it's kind of the same theme as the previous one, where you've got Decepticon good guys and Autobot bad guys, but it’s Shattered Glass, baby.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few. And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr or YouTube. Till next time, I’m Specs.

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  **Fanfic Recommendations:**  
> 
> 
>   * [Our Darkest Hour](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7468183/1/Our-Darkest-Hour) by [Taipan Kiryu](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1348306/Taipan-Kiryu)
>   * [Little Dude Not Lost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/472334) by [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly)
> 

> 
> **Where to find us:**
> 
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